


My Fake Fiancé

by Millsmansion



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, HookedQueen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 03:35:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18327818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Millsmansion/pseuds/Millsmansion
Summary: Regina Mills attends a wedding where she meets the free spirited ladies man killian Jones. When life plays a cruel trick on her she contacts him with a plan that could benefit them both. This story is complete.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU for the movie My Fake Fiancé stating Melissa Joan Heart and Joey Lawrence. All ten chapters are posted.

Sure, weddings can be nice but when you're single in your early thirties while your other friends are married weddings are awful. Regina brings her champagne glass to her lips letting the cool liquid calm her. Seated at what she deems the loser table, she decides maybe the guy she is seated next to, whose name according to the placement card is Killian,wont be a complete imbecile. Weddings are such a joke.

"Lovely ceremony wasn't it?" The man beside her asks. He has a light British accent just like her older sister.

"I can't believe they used the traditional vows. Who does that?" Regina scoffs.

"I was just trying to make small talk, love." 

"Great they sat me next to that guy."

"What do you mean by that?" He asks. 

Regina quirks a brow. 

"Well I noticed you're not wearing a ring and you're what mid thirties?"

Looking a little offended the man laughs "late twenties actually... to early thirties." 

He takes a drink of his champagne and scans the room looking away from Regina. 

She smirks and sizes him up. 

"Let me guess. You lease a really nice car you never buy, you never cry in movies, and you only bang hot chicks."

Killian smiles and offers the sarcastic comment, "Have we met?"

"No" Regina replies with the shake of her head. 

Across the room newlyweds David and Mary are taking advantage of the dance floor. With her arms around David's neck she has a giddy smile on her face. 

"They're perfect for each other!" She states. David just smiles. 

"So where does this hatred for weddings come from?"

Regina shrugs. 

"It's an unrealistic fairy tale. You meet your Prince Charming, fall in love, and live a happily ever after in a gingerbread house in a field of cotton candy."

"Sounds tasty"

"I mean there's no such thing as soul mates."

"So you sleep around?" He asks with a playful look in his eyes. 

"Sorry, I'm not your type."

"What makes you think I have a type?"

"Oh please." Regina laughs. "You were invited to a formal wedding but wore a black sports coat hoping to get away with it and judging by that scruffy beard of yours you just can't be bothered."

Killian nods. 

"Wow, lass you've..." 

"And seeing all those... fine rings you're wearing you skipped your emo period of adolescence or you're a Johnny Depp wannabe am I right?" She asks clearly proud of herself. 

Killian stands and chuckles, "you don't know me." Before heading to the open bar. 

Phone in hand Killian gives up on trying to find a signal in the reception hall and puts it in his pocket. After receiving a beer he begins to head back to the delightful brunette at his table. Spotting David he glances at the envelope of money being handed to him before slapping him on the back. 

"Congratulations, mate."   
"Thanks, Killian." 

Killian sighs as he reaches the table. He perks up as he sees Regina on her phone. 

"You have service in here?" He asks

Regina nods continuing to scroll.

"May I?" He asks gesturing to the device. 

She looks at him then hands him the device with a short "fine" 

"Thank you!" Taking a few steps away from the table he dials a number and put the receiver to his ear. 

"Hi it's Killian is the crocodile there? How did I do today? Bloody hell. Yes I know the crocodiles looking for me." He hangs up and runs a hand through his hair. Turning back he hands the phone back to Regina. 

"Thank you." He offers her a tight smile. 

"So how much do you owe?"

"What?"

Regina laughs. "You don't know how ridiculously obvious that sounded. Either you owe money or you're being stalked by a crocodile?" 

Killian shakes his head. "It's not a crocodile it's THE crocodile." 

Regina glares. "So how much do you owe THE crocodile?" 

Killian sighs. 

"Enough." 

Killian looks around to see guests handing both David and Mary money. 

"How much do you think they'll take away from this?" 

Regina scoffs. "Have you seen their registry? It is astounding. In the past fifteen years I've probably spent twenty grand in wedding gifts." 

"And people say gambling is throwing your money away. I suppose in theory it's like savings. We're meant to get all that money back when we get married." 

"We?" Regina laughs, " like I'd ever marry a guy like you." 

Killian displays a hurt expression. "Really?" I thought we might grow old together." 

After a moment they both sit back and continue to drink.


	2. 2

"Alright, besides the new back spasms I think that went very well." Robin states out of breath. 

"I really owe one. Moving is the worst."

"Are you still scared?"

Regina put her hands on her hips and sighed. 

"Very. I put all my savings into this and I can't afford to screw up. plus I will never hear the end of it from my mother if it doesn't work out." 

Robin put his hand on her shoulder to give a reassuring squeeze. 

"Regina you've got nothing to worry about. You've been saving for years to buy your first place. Just don't buy food or turn on a light." He joked. 

Regina laughed. "Food is overrated anyway. Come on I want to take one last look around." 

Guiding Robin back into the house he excused himself to the bathroom while she stood taking everything in. She looked around the empty room realizing she was finally doing something with her life. No matter what she did it seemed she could never make her parents happy like her older sister Zelena could. Maybe now she could. Regina snapped back into reality grabbing the final moving box and meeting Robin who was now standing outside with his mouth agape staring at the empty street. 

"Uh, Regina.... there's a chance I left the keys in the truck." 

"No.... no no no no!" Regina yelled stomping her foot with the box in her arm.   
~  
Killian Jones jolts from the couch in his dingy apartment when two men force the door open. He recognizes these two men immediately as The Crocodiles goons Graham and Will. 

Killian got up to greet them. "Lads, you decided to pop in. A phone call would have worked as well." 

"Yeah whatever you say, Jones have you got something for him?" Will asks. 

Killian sighs shaking his head. "You're gonna have to tell the crocodile I need more time." 

Graham steps forward looking at him with his hands together. 

"C'mon, lads there's gotta be a choice. There's always a choice." Killian laughs. 

Graham looked to Will and back to killian. 

"Of course. We could leave you in here on the floor or we could carry you out back to the garbage bin. Your choice." 

"Those are the only choices?" Killian asked just before Will's fist made contact with his abdomen. Killian leaned forward holding his side with a cough trying to get air back into his lungs. 

Will and Graham laughed before giving him a pat on the back. 

"That's a terrible cough, Jones you better get that checked out. Now we'll be back next week. You either have the money by then or..." 

"Let me guess the Crocodile will have my hand." 

Graham looked impressed. 

"I was gonna suggest a few broken bones but that was clever you know you are smarter than you look." 

Killian modded. "You two are Cliche you know that?"

"We are not" Will spoke. "Let's get out of here."   
The two cronies left leaving killian hunched over his dining table. Picking up a few card from said table he threw them at the now empty doorway.   
~  
Regina throws down her mail with a huff as she sits on the floor with a single lamp lighting the entire apartment. She's added up all her bills for the month and with the move it's a stressful situation. Especially since she's lost everything. 

She thanks the gods for her home made apple cider that night. Contemplating what to do she picked up her phone and opened her phone call history. A victorious smile spread across her face when she found the number she was looking for. She hit call and waited. 

"Hello is crocodile there?" 

"It's THE crocodile." A light accent replied 

Regina cocked a brow and laughed. "what?"   
"You heard me." 

"THE crocodile? You're THE kidding right?"

"I'm serious, dearie, who is this?" 

"Listen a man named killian called you from my phone the other day and I need to reach him but I don't have his number." 

"I'll give it to you"  
"Oh that's great thanks. You're very THE kind" 

Regina joked trying to make light of the call.  
"Don't be smart, dearie." 

"I apologize." Regina spoke with the phone between her ear and shoulder with a pen in hand.   
After ending the call she looked to the number on the paper and smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

It's a beautiful day when killian walks to the outdoor cafe. He's not sure why this Regina wants to see him after the way she spoke to him at David and Mary's wedding but he can not deny that she is an absolutely striking woman. 

With a cocky grin spread across his scruffy face, killian takes a seat across from Regina. 

"I gotta say, love, I was shocked when you phoned me. I didn't think you liked me."  
Regina smiles, "And you would be right. Lunch?" 

Regina takes a moment to explain what happened during her move, about her missing belongings and how insurance would not cover the loss. 

Killian nods continuing to eat his meal. 

"I'm sorry to hear that but I still don't see what this has to do with me."

"I was thinking about what you said at the wedding. How it's like a savings account and well I need to make a withdrawal. I can't spend another night on the hardwood floor." She explains, "so what I was thinking..."

"I'm in," He interrupts, "we stage a fake wedding. We can invite everyone we know. I'll keep the money and you keep the gifts. It's brilliant!" He speaks excitedly. 

Regina eyes him as if he grew another head.  
"Check please," she flags down their waiter. Maybe this wasn't so smart, "This won't work, sorry."

Killian sits back and laughs. 

"Talk about commitment issues you're getting cold feet over our fake wedding." 

Just then Regina answers her ringing phone. They've found the moving truck. After a beat She confirms she'll be there soon.

"I've gotta go, have a nice life." She says then hurries off away from their table. Killian gets up and walks a few paces after her. 

"What about the money? Your furniture? Our love? He throws in for dramatic affect. She's already gone. 

When Regina arrives she sees a police car and her moving truck. She jogs as quickly as her heels will let her to the truck that's parked in a crappy area of the city. She's hopeful as she slides the door up but is quickly disappointed when she sees a single box. Her shoulders drop in defeat. 

"For the love of god be the coffee maker." She pleads entering the truck. She kneels down to the cardboard box and peels the tape to reveal two more decretive pillows. 

Regina shoves the pillows back into the box. She thinks this day couldn't possibly get any worse. Just then she whips around when she hears a voice behind her. Killian is standing arm propped against the truck, smile showing his pearly teeth. 

"So were you thinking DJ or a band?"

Regina grits her teeth and slams the cardboard top shut. 

Fantastic.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Both Regina and Killian's feet echo in the empty living room as they pace the floor. Eyes both glued to marriage books they continued to flip through the pages reading the laws of and steps of preparation for a wedding. 

"Here it is!" Regina exclaims pointing to a line on the page. Killian is quickly at her side looking over her shoulder. 

"Invite a guest, they are obligated to send a gift attending or not." She reads aloud. 

"Seriously," killian asks, "This is perfect. We just need to invite anyone we know. In fact we should invite anyone we've ever met, especially the rich ones. You know Ryan Reynolds spilled coffee on me once? Why don't we send a few invitations to him and see what happens?" 

"Brilliant." Regina spits sarcastically. 

"Thank you."

"Let make everything clear. We announce our engagement, send out the invitations, and just before the wedding one of us calls it off. I keep all the gifts for my apartment and you keep all the cash to pay off your debts." 

Killian nods in agreement. 

"It's perfect. Plus the ladies love a man that's been left at the alter so I will definitely be getting some sympathy." He gloats with a playful waggle of his eyebrows. 

Regina stares at him for a moment completely unamused. 

"Wow. I really hope people can believe I've lowered my standards this much."

"Ha ha very funny now what does this say about canceling so I know how long we need to keep this charade up. I really need to pay the Crocodile." 

Regina skims the page for a moment with killian still looking over her shoulder. 

"Oh no. If the couple calls off their engagement prior to the wedding, all gifts must promptly be returned." 

Killian takes the book from her, confusion on his face. 

"So wait we actually have to go through with this?" He asks. 

"Apparently so." Regina grumbles. 

"We're both broke we can't possibly plan a wedding." 

Regina suddenly perks up. 

"Maybe we can. We pretend we're planning the wedding but when the day approaches were both so overwhelmed and we elope. We keep the gifts without the wedding." 

"It could work." Killian agrees. 

"It could. Now all we have to do is convince people we're in love." 

The pair eye each other up and down with disgusted looks on their faces before they both belt out, "oh god." 

The pair walk to their separate sides of the apartment sitting on the floor using the two steps that lead up to the kitchen as a seat. 

"You know what? I have faith we can do this. We just need to come up with a story about our fairytale like romance." 

"Yes like how I swept you off your feet with my charming personality and dashing looks." Killian brags. 

"Or something believable?" Regina suggests. 

Killian scoffs. 

"What like your bubbly personality drew me in?"   
"No like we," Regina smooths our her dress and stands again, " bonded over something we have in common. Now what do we have in common?" 

The apartment becomes silent. 

Killian purses his lips trying to come up with something. 

"Anything?" Regina asks.   
"Nope." 

The apartment becomes silent again.


	5. Chapter 5

At Killian's apartment Will and Graham shuffle through the dark apartment with duffle bags trying to find anything of value. 

"This blokes a pig." Will states.   
"I know. This is the only time I've ransacked a place and left it cleaner than I found it." 

The two walk into the small living room of the apartment and take their spots on a couch. 

Each with a beer in hand the two sit back. 

"We need to wait until he gets here."   
Graham  pulls a dictionary out of the duffle bag. 

"What was that thing he called us?"   
"Cliche." Will replies before taking a drink. 

Graham flips through the dictionary. 

"Cliche. C-l-e-e-s-h-a-y. I can't find it." 

When killian enters the hallway he sees the two men through the open door. 

"All I know is if I'm here all night Jones is gonna be missing a finger." Will says. 

Killian's jaw drops as he quickly turns around and bolts down the hall. The two goons turn their attention to the door but see nothing. 

After a walk back to Reginas, killian hops up the stairs and rings the buzzer hoping to god she lets him in. He lets out a breath before he rings it again and again. A raspy "hello" comes out of the speaker in front of him and he chuckles. 

"I'm home, darling." 

"Did you leave your pride here?" Regina quips. 

"Just let me in." 

"I'm in my pajamas, killian." 

"oh how exciting," he jokes, " just let me in or I'm calling off the wedding." 

Regina groans and hits the unlock button. 

 

When Killian enters the apartment he asks if he can stay the night. 

"No. Absolutely not that's not part of the deal." 

"Do you remember the crocodile?" 

"Of course who could forget?" Regina replies with a shrug. 

"Well right now he has to blood thirsty sharks inside my apartment. You want to be a widow before you even get married?" 

Regina crosses her arms.

"Have you ever heard of friends? They come in handy during times like this." 

"I have a lot of friends thank you very much. I just.. owe them all money." Killian admits. 

"Oh wow living the dream." Regina laughs. "stay in Mary and David's apartment." 

Killian gives her a disapproving look. 

"It'll be one night you won't even know I'm here." He pleads looking at her. 

"Fine. ONE night." Regina confirms. 

~

The following morning a yellow cab pulls up letting out an overly excited Mary who jumps out with a tired looking David in tow. Mary begins to head toward the building. 

"Honey, where are you going?" David asks. 

"To see Regina. She called me and left a message asking for Killian's number. 

"It's eight in the morning." David laughs. 

"David we've been in Fiji for two weeks I'm sure she's dying to see him!" She waves him off turning toward the building again. 

"A little help?" David gestures to all the luggage in the open trunk of the cab. 

"Oh right! The housewarming gift, thanks honey." 

Mary grabs a small white box and runs up the steps to the building.

Killian's eyes open as he hears the sound of Regina's doorbell ringing. He flings the leather jacket he was using as a blanket off of him and sits up. 

"Regina?" He calls out. 

The doorbell rings again. 

"Regina?" He calls out again. He gets up and looks to the bathroom to see it is empty. 

On the next ring he goes to the practically see through door. He stands to the side trying to hide. 

"Hello?" 

Mary stands outside with an amused smile on her face. 

"Hello." 

"Killian, I can see you. Let me in." 

Killian huffs and opens the door. 

"So, you're back from the honeymoon." 

"Yep! Yep we are. And you're.... here." Mary states. 

"Yep I'm here." He shrugs. 

There's an awkward beat of silence before killian lets out a breath. 

"So.. what's new?" 

"Married. What's new with you?" She asks skeptically. 

"Oh not much. I woke up yesterday and I felt a little sick." 

"Killian! You tell me about Regina!" Mary insists with a wide smile. 

"Her stomachs fine."

"Oh stop, it looks like you two really hit it off." 

Killian nods 

"Yes we did. She's fantastic. We... we realized we had something in common." 

"See I knew it! Is she here?" 

"No." Killian shakes his head. "She went to work. That box looks terribly heavy let me take that." 

Mary hands him the box and looks around the empty apartment. 

"I thought she would've moved her stuff in already."   
Killian nods. 

"Ah yes. Well that's a long story in fact I'm sure Regina would love to tell you about it." 

Just then Killian's phone rings and he quickly moves toward the pillows on the wood flooring to look for the device.  Shuffling quickly he picks up the phone and realizes who it is.

"You... I have to take this can you give me a moment please?" He says to Mary before answering the call. 

"Hello, sir. Yes... can I come over personally to tell you about my plan? Yes I have a plan. I just got engaged." 

At the word engaged Mary whips back around and puts all her focus on killian. 

"No that is the plan. I'm getting married." 

"Oh killian! I... I gotta go I'll talk to you later!" Mary excitedly yells as she heads to the front door. 

Killian, with wide eyes, brings a hand to his forehead. 

"No but this plan it's going to work."  
~

It's afternoon when killian leaves the apartment. Jogging down the steps garbage bags in hand he begins to put them in the bin. 

"Excuse me, the white one goes in recycling." A voice booms from above him. 

Regina's staring at him out the window. Killian rolls his eyes and puts the white bag in its proper bin. He huffs when he closes the lid and when he turns around he's met by Graham holding a gun on him and Will just behind him. 

"Hey, Jones, it's a nice day for a walk." 

A few minutes later killian finds himself jogging in between the two goons while they ride on hover boards. 

"I thought you said walk!" He belts out at the two. 

"Ah come on, Jones, you're getting married you need the exercise." Will replies. 

"It'll do wonders for the pictures. It worked for me." Graham says. 

"Yeah, you look great." 

"Why thank you, Jones." 

"Alright wait a minute." Killian says out of breath before coming to a stop. "Wait a minute. Where are we going?" 

"The crocodile wants to see you." Will replies. 

"He didn't want to send a car?" 

"Crocodiles going green." 

~

The zoo is pretty empty when the three men arrive. Killian can hear all the animals along with his heart that is pounding against his rib cage. 

The three men meet the crocodile just outside the reptile house, a crocodile can be seen in the window. Like Killian had said about the crocodiles goons, the crocodile is cliche. 

The crocodile is standing in front of the building in a tailored suit supported by his golden handled cane. 

Killian stands before the crocodile who has a disgusted look on his face. 

"You think I'm an idiot don't you, dearie? I'm just some dumb crocodile that'll fall for a stupid scheme." He asks while pacing the area. 

"Look I'm gonna get the money okay?" Killian assures him while shoving his hands in his pockets. 

"I've know you how long, killian? The past five years or so? In all that time I've never seen you with a steady girlfriend. You're looser with women than you are with your money." The Crocodile spits. 

Graham and Will chuckle. 

"This is different. This wedding will work." 

"So excuse me if I don't think you're ready for a life long commitment. Which means you're lying to your woman or you're lying to me." The crocodile interrupts. 

"Or maybe he's lying to both of us." Killian stumbles a step sideways when he sees Regina join the group. 

If he was honest he'd tell her he was happy she interrupted. 

"Regina?" He asks shock clear in his voice. 

She's right at his side with a fiend look of disappointment on her face. 

The crocodile steps forward while will and Graham both aim their guns at her. 

"I thought you were finished with this, killian? Done with the gambling, the lying, now here you are being held at gunpoint." She states while gesturing to the men.

The crocodile waves his hand in command for the two to lower their weapons. 

Regina holds her purse on her shoulder with one hand and raises the other to shake The Crocodiles. 

"I apologize I'm Regina, I didn't get your name." 

The crocodile shakes her hand and eyes the other two men embarrassed. 

"I'm uh... it's Rumple." 

Will and Graham look at each other skeptically "Rumple?" They both ask. Rumple looks at them with a curl of his lip and both men become quiet again. 

"You can call me Crocodile."   
"Oh, Mister Crocodile, we spoke on the phone. You gave me Killian's number remember?" She says with a charming smile.   
"I do."  
"You have a very nice phone voice."   
"Thank you, dearie." 

Regina turns around and gives her attention back to a dumbfounded killian. 

"How are we supposed to start a life together if I can't trust you?"   
The crocodile crosses his arms and looks at killian.   
"How much does he owe?" She asks.   
"Ten grand. Plus interest."   
"So what are we talking?" She asks turning toward crocodile again. " 8 percent? Compounded weekly, monthly?" 

Crocodile shakes his head. 

"I'm not certain, my accountant handles that business" he replies quietly. 

Regina raises her hand and stops him before going to stand next to killian again. 

"You know it really doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm here, killian. And I know about your debt and your past and I'm here to help." She says putting a hand on his arm. "Okay but we need to be honest with each other. No more secrets." 

Killian looks at the woman in front of him like a deer in the headlights. What the hell was going on?

"She's got a point, killian." Crocodile says with a nod.   
"She does, she's very supportive." Will jumps in.   
"Okay." Killian drags out the word. 

Regina's arms are crossed with an unsatisfied pout on her lips. 

"That's all you have to say?" Crocodile asks. 

Killian puts his arm around Regina's shoulders. 

"Okay. No more secrets." He agrees. "I will never lie to you again. I just.. I wanted to give you that big honeymoon you wanted." He says looking at the crocodile out of the corner of his eye. 

"Well, I suppose our vacation will have to turn into a staycation. But you know nothing can compare to our morning cuddles." She says tapping his chest.

Will and Graham look at each other and nod.   
"I love to spoon."   
"I love pillow talk." The crocodile adds. 

Regina looks back at crocodile and offers him a friendly smile. 

"Well, mister crocodile, Rumple, we'll talk to you about Killian's debts right after the wedding. I have to get this guy home he's meeting the parents tonight." 

Killian stands quietly next to Regina while she loops their arms together. 

"Killian, you want me to shoot you now?" Graham asks with a laugh. 

"Hey don't make him anymore nervous than he already is." Regina laughs as she and killian begin to walk away. 

They're nearly out of the area until the crocodile begins speaking to them again. 

"Woah wait a minute. I expect an invitation to the wedding. Plus two guests." 

"Actually we were thinking about elo..."   
"Okay sure.." Regina cuts him off. "Fish or beef?" She asks.   
"Beef" Graham and Will reply together.   
"Fish for me. My dear wife wants me to eat better." The crocodile says with a smile. "Oh and you got a month to get this done."   
"A month?" Killian and Regina ask at the same time.   
"I'm not sure it can happen that soon. Sometimes it's take a year or more just to book the venue." Regina laughs, her nerves now getting the better of her. 

"I'm sentimental, dearie, but I'm not a fool. One month. And the sweetness Clause will be in effect." 

Killian rolls his eyes. 

"The sweetness clause?" Regina asks.   
"A technicality. Nothing to concern yourself with. Now killian, give this lovely lady a kiss. After all, she did save your life." 

Regina grips the strap of her purse again and looks to the side. 

"Actually we don't uh... we don't believe in public displays of affection." Killian says cooly.   
"Yeah it's tacky." Regina adds.   
"Well you'll have to kiss in front of everyone you know. You might as well get used to it. 

Killian and Regina look at each other before they share an awkward peck on the lips. 

"Come one, she's your fiancé not your cousin. Give her a kiss." 

Regina looks uncomfortably at the ground while killian clenches his jaw. 

He cups Regina's face and she leans up for their lips to meet. It's an awkward kiss, if you could even call it that. Their lips brush against one another for a moment before Killian pulls away. 

"That's more like it. You've got yourself a good lady, killian, it'd be a shame if she became a widow before she got married." 

Killian nods and puts his arm around Regina beginning to walk away again. 

"Oh and killian, good luck with the in laws!" All three men laugh. 

The two turn back around. Killian smiles and Regina fakes a laugh. 

"Hey, Rumple, that was a good one." Graham compliments. The crocodile points a finger at him. 

"It's crocodile" He sneers. 

Regina and killian both wipe their mouths like children once the crocodile is out of sight.   
With an arm still around Regina's shoulder the two begin to leave. 

"Are you crazy?"


	6. Chapter 6

"One month? Everyone's going to think I'm pregnant." Regina huffs. 

Killian shrugs as the two sit in Regina's black Mercedes. 

"I could be killed by gangsters and that's what you're worried about?" he asks. 

"I take my reputation very seriously." 

Killian scoffs. 

"Believe me, love the last thing anyone would call you is loose." 

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She's asks clearly offended. 

"Listen, we have bigger fish to fry like how are we going to afford this wedding?" 

Regina sighs. The plan to elope had been fantastic, it would have been cheap and easy. Now, after their afternoon with the crocodile it proved to make their situation even more difficult. 

"Wait a minute aren't the brides parents meant to pay for it?" Killian exclaims. 

"No. No absolutely not. I'm not asking my parents to pay for my fake wedding. Besides, they're still freaking out about the engagement." 

"How did they even find out?" Killian asks. 

Regina lets a laugh slip through her lips. 

"Mary can't keep a secret to save her life now Listen, my mother isn't the easiest person to get along with so just try not to say anything to tick her off or make her suspicious. Let me do the talking okay? The less they know about you the better." 

Killian nods. 

"I see. This has nothing to do with your parents. It's me. You don't think they'll like me do you?" 

"No I know they're not gonna like you and they're gonna think I'm crazy." Regina explains. 

"What do you know? I'm a catch!" 

"Oh please." Regina laughs, " you're a thirty year old man child who has no money, drive, or friends. My parents are going to be thrilled." 

"Well then." Killian says as he gives his attention back to the wooded area they're driving through. 

~

Killian is glued to the window as the two drive through a small town called Storybrooke. It had that small town feel to it and rightfully so given they have an establishment named Granny's. Killian looks at Regina stunned. 

"This is where you grew up?" 

Regina nods. 

"Born and raised. I thank god every day I got out. We're almost there, be ready." She responds as they pull up to a white mansion. 

As the two get out of the car a small woman opens the door with a smile on her face. 

"Mum!" Killian yells arms wide open for a hug.   
Regina rolls her eyes as the two make their way up to the door. 

Cora laughs as she offers killian her hand. 

"Oh forget that give me a hug! I have heard so much about you truly it is good to meet you." 

Regina is stunned as her mother continues to genuinely smile at killian and not recoil at the contact. 

"Oh, sweetheart show me the ring!" Cora asks excitedly moving to her daughter. 

"Uh the ring." Regina says looking to killian for back up. 

"Well, mum there is no ring. Not yet anyway." He replies moving to put his arm around Regina.   
"Regina and I talked about it and we decided that part can happen at any time when we find the perfect ring that she deserves. You know how picky she is."

Just then Regina's father Henry joins them on the porch. 

"Dad!" Killian he yells with the same excitement he did for Cora. He rushes to Henry pulling him into a hug while Cora laughs. 

"He's a spirited fellow! Oh sweetheart, is that the dress I bought you?" She asks referring to the red casual dress Regina is wearing. 

"It is actually." Regina responds with a smile.   
"How strange, it looked so different in the store" 

And with that Regina's smile falls. It's great to be home. 

~

"Now that's Regina's older sister Zelena, her husband chad, and our grand babies Henry and Robyn." Henry says as he and Cora show killian pictures hung up in the family room. 

Regina stands a few feet away sipping a glass of wine. 

"Those photos are so precious." Killian says.   
"Perhaps we'll have some more grand kids soon. Honey, should you be drinking?" Cora asks. 

Regina rolls here eyes. 

"Mother I'm not pregnant." 

Killian sense the tension and puts on a charming smile. 

"It's crazy, I've never even knew Regina had a sister."

"Oh you'll just love her, everyone does." 

"She was voted most popular at Storybrooke high school. Actually I think we have that yearbook here somewhere." Henry adds as he moves to a bookshelf. 

"Darling I'm sure killian would rather see pictures of Regina from high school." 

 

Cora goes to help her husband as Regina makes her way to the small end table near where killian is standing. She hands him a small frame and continues to sip her wine. 

"Here's a picture of me from my graduation day at Harvard." 

"That was a proud day for all of us." Henry says giving up on his quest to find the yearbook. 

Killian holds the picture frame and smiles at Regina before handing it back. 

Henry claps killian on the back and ushers him to the dining room. 

"Come on, son it was probably a long drive over here." 

Regina follows behind, tossing her head back and sighing. 

~

Cora and Henry Mills have out done themselves with a wonderful meal, drinks and small talk with their soon to be son in law. 

"Thank you so much for having me, this house is stunning. I don't think I've ever seen a home so nice" killian compliments while taking Regina's hand on top of the table. 

"So Killian, what do you do for a living?" Henry asks. 

"You know that is a great question, what do you do?" 

Regina is smiling at killian almost too sweetly. She's waiting to see if he can handle the pressure of her parents. 

"Don't you know?" Cora asks with a quirked brow. 

"Of course, mother. I just love when killian explains it." She says sweetly, making a show of pinching his cheek. 

Killian laughs. 

"I'm an art director at the DIA. I manage the groups that create street art downtown and other establishments in the area." Killian explains. 

"That sounds wonderful, killian. Now what about your family?" Cora asks. 

"Well, um I don't have many relatives." 

"Mother, he doesn't like to talk about it." Regina says putting a hand on killian's arm. 

"It's alright, love. It's not a problem. I have an older brother, Liam, and our father, Brennan. I haven't spoken to him in quite some time. He left when I was very young after our mother passed away. We've never had a good relationship." 

"Do they live in the area? We would love to meet them. How about a get together at your place? We're dying to see it." Henry states. 

Regina looks to killian almost concerned. 

"Daddy, I haven't even met them yet. It might be too much for a first meeting." 

Cora laughs. 

"Who gets married without meeting the family first, sweetheart?" 

The table breaks out in laughter as killian and Regina join in. 

"I guess we do." 

"Regina, would you help me with the desert?" 

"Sure, daddy." 

"See you in a minute, love." Killian says with a laugh and smacks her butt lightly. 

Regina quirks a brow and smacks the side of his head on her way out. 

As Henry and Regina disappear to the kitchen Cora takes a seat next to killian. 

"I'll tell you, mum it's great to see where Regina comes from. No wonder she's so amazing." 

Cora nods politely. 

"Is she pregnant? Tell me the truth." Cora nearly demands. 

Killian stiffens at the sudden change in the small woman's demeanor. He makes a mental note to stay on her good side. 

"No she's not." 

Cora sighs. 

"My darling daughter doesn't realize her clock is ticking. You know killian I have to say you seem like a very genuine man. I haven't seen my daughter this happy in a long time." 

"Really? She... she seems happy to you?" Killian asks.

"She certainly does. The happiest I've seen her in years." Cora confirms. 

"Wow" killian lets out. 

"Cora, can you come to the kitchen, sweetheart?" Henry asks in the doorway as Regina enters the room again. 

Retina takes her seat back next to killian and Punches his arm once her mother is gone. 

"What was that for?!" Killian whines. 

"Thanks to you we have to have both of our family's over for a meet and greet in my VERY empty apartment." She whispers harshly. 

"Don't even worry about it my father won't show." 

"Yeah and let me guess you've got a famous sister or something somewhere" She quips sarcastically. 

Killian shakes his head. 

"No. What I told them was true, my dad left my brother and I and became a drunk. I hardly ever see him." He admits. 

"Regina, your father and I are paying for your wedding." 

Regina's head snaps to her parents standing by the table. 

"Oh no no I said we'd...." 

"Honey, let your mother speak." Killian urges putting his arm around her forcing her to stay seated. 

"No it's out of the question.." 

"It's my right as your mother to do this for you. You cannot dent me this joy." Cora says firmly. 

"We can't accept your money." 

"We can't? I thinks we can, love. In fact I think we should. How can we deny your mother and father the joy?" Killian asks. 

Regina is mortified. She can't let her parents do this. 

Henry puts his arm around his wife and smiles at the young couple. 

Regina sighs. 

"Fine." 

"There's just one catch. We spent your wedding fund." Cora admits. 

"You what?!" Regina exclaims 

"We thought we had more time, don't worry we'll just move some money around and we can throw you the wedding of your dreams. That will be our gift to you." Henry says as if it is set in stone. 

Killian beams with his arm still around Regina. 

"Sounds great!" 

Cora claps her hands excitedly. 

"It's settled then." 

The two go back to the kitchen and leave the fake couple seated at the table. Killian and Regina reach for the wine glass in front of them at the same time but Regina beats him to it. 

Killian sighs as Regina guzzles the liquid and pushes his arm off of her.


	7. Chapter 7

Regina stands in the kitchen washing her newly gifted dishes while a guilty feeling washes over her. 

"Killian, I can't do this." 

"What?" He asks shooting up from his work out bench that's outside on the balcony. 

"I can't let my parents pay for this wedding." 

"Why deny them that joy? You wouldn't wanna hurt their feelings." 

"Oh please." Regina scoffs. "They've been hurting my feelings for years. This is payback."

Killian gets up and wipes his face with a towel. 

"Didn't they pay for Zelena's wedding?" 

"Yeah of course." she replies. 

"Well was it nice?"

"It was okay if you're into that sort of thing. Horse drawn carriage, Vera wang dresses, a flock of doves released when they kissed." Regina explains. 

Killian gets up and comes to her side. 

"See? It sounds nice and they'll do the same thing for you." He says with a smile. 

"Really?" She asks sarcastically. 

"I'm just saying let them pay for the wedding. When and if you meet mister right, you can elope." He says looking right at her.

"We're gonna pay them back." Regina states. 

"That's why were having the wedding, Regina. We have no money. I have The Crocodile on my back and besides my furniture you have an empty apartment." 

"Look we're gonna pay them back even if it takes ten years. 50/50 remember? Giving gives you joy." She quips. 

"I didn't sign up for ten years." Killian says going to sit on the sofa. 

"Well if you don't like the terms go find another fake fiancé." 

Killian sighs. 

"Fine. We'll pay them back." 

"Swear on it." Regina demands. She sets the dish down and goes towards him offering him her hand. 

Killian looks down at her offered hand and quirks a brow. 

"Oh my god." He sighs before shaking her hand. 

"It's time for sports center!" He says before hopping over the couch and taking a seat. 

"I can not wait for our divorce." She laughs going back to washing dishes. 

~

Regina lays in her room now filled with furniture thanks to Killian. She's taken the bed for herself and is sprawled out comfortably in a short nightgown with a book in hand. 

There's a light knock on the door before killian enters. 

"What are you doing up?" 

He looks at her for a moment before he shakes his head. 

"Eh I couldn't sleep so I made a little snack. Thought my business partner might like some." He says offering her a plate. 

"Is that an Apple pancake?" Regina asks sitting up. 

Killian's laughs as she takes the plate. 

"Yeah. My brother is an amazing cook. Taught me everything I know." 

Regina looks at the plate and back up to killian. She thinks maybe he's not so bad after all. No man had ever made her a snack just because it was late and he was bored. They lock eyes for a moment before Regina picks up the fork. 

Killian clears his throat.

"Well, good night." 

She says her thanks and offers him a sweet smile. 

~

Killian and Henry sit on the sofa watching the baseball game while Cora and Regina sit in the kitchen. She'd been waiting on a comment about her decor choice from her mother but Henry beat her too it. 

"I love what you've done with the place, sweetheart."   
He compliments just before the two men whoop at the tv screen and high five each other. 

"Thanks, daddy. I was going for a sweaty locker room look." She quips. 

"You hit the nail on the head." 

"Don't worry, we'll go register somewhere and all of this will go." Cora tells her. 

Killian joins the two ladies in the kitchen while they look through catalogues. 

"So what are you lasses doing over here?" He asks with a smile. 

"Just making plans, dear." 

Killian nods and pick up a piece of paper on the counter. 

"Wow! What's that number?" He asks with a nervous chuckle. 

"That's the price per head." 

Killian's eyes widen. 

"For a real human head? Because if not this is way too expensive." He laughs. 

"Weddings aren't cheap, killian. Don't worry, Henry and I have it covered." Cora re assures him. 

Killian smiles nervously. 

"Honey, remember our motto less food more seats?" Killian says to Regina. 

"Listen to that boy he makes good sense." Henry chimes in. 

Regina gives killian a tight smile. 

"Darling, we're throwing a wedding not a tailgate party." 

"You know what? The country club had a cancelation for October 18th. Can you imagine? A month before the wedding? Poor soul." Cora says sadly. "Oh well. Another girls heartbreak is another girls special day." 

Regina smiles along tight lipped with her mother. 

"You two have your first counseling session with Reverend Hopper Thursday night." 

"Counseling session?" Killian asks. "We never discussed a counseling session." 

"Oh you just go in and chat with the reverend about your relationship and the hopes and fears you have about marriage." Cora explains. 

"What are we gonna talk about?" Killian asks Regina quietly. 

"Mother, I told you killian isn't very religious. Do you think Reverend Hopper will make an exception?" 

"He won't preform the ceremony unless you go through counseling first." 

"Just say yes dear. Those are the two most important words in a marriage." Henry says. 

Killian sighs and heads to the couch again giving a "yes dear." Over his shoulder. 

The small group is interrupted when there's a knock at the door. 

"There He is." 

Killian answers the door with a huge grin on his face. 

"Hello, brother!" 

"Look at you in a nice place like this!" Liam laughs. 

Killian pulls the other man into a bone crushing hug and leads him into the apartment. 

"Everyone, this is my brother Liam. Liam, this is my fiancé Regina and her parents Cora and Henry." 

Liam smiles and offers his hand to Cora first with a polite hello and does the same with Henry. Liam looks at his brother and nods. 

"How did you manage to get a woman as striking as this one, brother?" Liam jokes. 

Regina laughs and smiles shaking the older Jones brothers hand. 

"Killian, I like him already. It's nice to meet you Liam."

"When Killian told me he was engaged I couldn't believe it. Our father couldn't either." 

"You told him?" Killian asks. 

Liam nods. 

"I did. We were going to dinner when you called. That being said, he offered to pay for half of it." 

Killian shakes his head. 

"No. He can't pay for any of it." 

Regina crosses the room and goes to Killian's side. 

"He can't? I think he can. How can we deny him that joy?" She asks taunting him the same way he did to her.

Killian looks at her and shakes his head again. 

"I'm not letting him pay" he says sternly. 

Killian moves away from the group and slumps down on the couch with a sour expression. 

Cora pulls her daughter into her side and smiles. 

"See? This is the sort of thing you can talk to reverend Hopper about." 

~

In a small room in the back of the church killian and Regina sit uncomfortably close on a small couch as reverend Hopper sits across from them. 

Regina picks an imaginary piece of lint off of her pantsuit while killian adjusts a ring on his hand clearly uncomfortable. 

Eventually, killian gets up. 

"Alright well that wasn't so bad." 

"Can I just say one more thing?" Regina interrupts grabbing killian's forearm. 

"Sure, express yourself Regina." Hopper encourages. 

Killian has a tight smile on his lips when he sits down next to Regina once again. 

"He refuses to see his father. I mean it's clear he has abandonment issues, but I feel as though he should confront them not run away from them. It would really help with his personal growth."  Regina explains. 

Killian chuckles. 

"Yes coming from the woman who still seeks approval from her parents. I really wish she would leave my personal growth out of this." 

"Now killian, don't you see why Regina is concerned about your relationship with your father?" Hopper asks.

"Yeah because she wants him to pay for half the wedding." Killian scoffs.

"No. I'm sure Regina is concerned with how you'll bring those issues into your relationship with your own children. Isn't that right Regina?" 

"No I want his father to pay for half." She answers with a shrug. 

Reverend Hopper's eyebrows hit his hairline. 

"Oh I see." 

"You with me?" Killian chuckles. He lifts his hand to block the side of his face and point at Regina mouthing the word "crazy" 

"I'm not the crazy one but it doesn't take a scholar to see that your father is the root of your gambling problem." 

Reverend Hopper sits forward with a shocked expression etched on his face.

"Gambling problem?" 

Killian sighs. 

"I don't have a gambling problem." 

"Oh come on." Regina laughs. " I would say owing ten thousand dollars to a man named THE Crocodile that's going to have you killed unless you pay him is a gambling problem." 

Killian nods with a bitter smile on his face. 

"Killian you owe ten thousand dollars to a bookie?" 

"Named THE Crocodile." Regina states with an unamused look.

"Is it true?" 

Killian shakes his head. 

"No it's not true. I do not owe ten thousand." 

"What?" Regina speaks up. 

"It's fifteen thousand. Huh didn't see that one coming did you?" He laughs. 

Regina laughs bitterly shaking her head. 

"You owe another five thousand dollars?"

"Not exactly. You remember what he said about the sweetness clause? It's like a service charge for those special occasions when the Crocodile shows how sweet of a guy he can be." Killian states to reverend Hopper. 

"Regina, tell Killian how this makes you feel." 

"I feel... like I can't wait for this to be over so I never have to see you again." She laughs. 

"Don't expect a Christmas card from me, lass." Killian tells her with a smile. 

"Oh I'm not even sure you know how to write." 

"Okay I think we're done here." Killian laughs.

Killian has his hand on Regina's back when the two are almost out of the room. 

"Hold on does this mean the wedding is off?" 

They both scoff at the man.

"No way."


	8. 8

Killian and Regina sit at the kitchen counter making the wedding invitations. The two whip around suddenly when Cora and Henry burst through the door. 

"Mother! Those keys are for emergencies!" Regina protests. 

"This is an emergency!" 

"The wedding is off." Henry commands. 

"What?" The couple belts. 

"Henry played golf with reverend Hopper this morning and he informed him of your gambling problem, Killian." Cora explains. 

"I... I don't have a gambling problem." Killian insists. 

Killian and Regina lock eyes as Henry puts his arm around his daughter. 

"I'm sorry, son. I cant let my daughter marry an addicted gambler." 

"I thought that was supposed to be confidential?" Killian asks Regina. 

Regina rolls her eyes. 

"Oh reverend Hopper is a terrible gossip. Thank god we're not catholic."Cora scoffs. "That man could never handle confession."

"Listen Killian, you're a great guy but you have to understand we're just looking out for Regina. She hasn't always hasn't always made the best choices when it comes to men." Henry explains. 

"Excuse me?" Regina asks with a quirked brow. 

"Remember Robin with the camping trip nonsense?" Cora reminds her. 

"I was in high school." Regina quips. 

Killian sighs. 

"I'm sorry. We just can't support this wedding." Cora puts simply. 

Regina quickly moves to stand next to Killian. 

"Mom, dad, I'm ashamed of you. Marriage isn't only for the good times. Mom did you leave dad when he went through that awful horse breeding phase? Dad, did you leave mom when she gave herself that bad home perm and was bald for a year?" 

Killian sits on the bar stool with a smirk on his lips. 

"No of course not." Henry answers. Cora nods in agreement. 

"Then I'm not leaving Killian either." She states putting her arm around his shoulders. 

Killian looks at her like he's trying to read how to go along with the situation. 

"Thanks." 

"Besides, the catering deposit is non refundable." Regina states with a shrug. 

Cora and Henry look at each other 

"Can they do that?" 

"Yes" Killian and Regina respond. 

"And on top of all that Killian has agreed to go to gamblers anonymous." Regina adds pulling Killian to stand up with her. 

"Oh this is wonderful" Cora exclaims. 

Henry pulls Killian into a tight hug and slaps his back. 

"I'm so proud of you." Regina says cracking her voice for extra affect. 

Killian glares at her over Henry's shoulder. 

~

"Hi, I'm Killian, I'm a gambler." 

"Hi Killian." The group says in unison. They all lean forward ready to listen to his story. 

"Uh well, my father was a drunk and I said I'd never be like him so I suppose gambling was a bit better." He explains. 

The group claps as he sits back down. He nods to the group and spots a dark haired woman looking at him intently with a smile on her face. 

~

It's evening when Regina stands in a white dress in front of a full length mirror. She smiles as she twists and adjusts her hair. Mary is somewhere in the shop and an old friend named Jefferson is bringing Regina new dresses to try. 

"You've known this guy what a month? Are you sure you're not preggo?" Jefferson asks while he sorts through the dress wrack. "I mean we have everything I'm sure we can find something with a big enough waist." 

Regina rolls her eyes in a playful way at the other man. 

"No im not preggo."

"So when am I going to meet this Killian? Why haven't I met him? Has the family met him?" He asks while Regina plays with the front of the dress. 

"Everyone but Zelena. Mary what do you think of this one?" 

Mary turns around with a huge grin while putting a vail on herself.

"This ones my favorite!" She practically squeals. Jefferson and Regina laugh. 

~

Killian sits back comfortably when a man in a nice suit stands up. His hair is styled nicely and his facial hair is groomed to perfection. He adjusts his tie and begins to grab the groups attention. 

"Hi, I'm Neal, and I'm a gambling addict." 

"Hi Neal." 

"Horses were my thing, I spent more time at the track than I did with my family. At my lowest point I was over three hundred thousand dollars in debt." Neal continues. 

Killian's attention goes back to the same dark haired woman that was staring at him at the beginning of the meeting. Her black hair is wavy and her makeup is perfect. She smiles at Killian again and he grins right back. 

"Thanks to these meetings, I've been able to get my gambling under control. I haven't placed a bet in over five years." Neal finishes. 

The group claps while Killian and the stranger still have their eyes locked on each other. 

"In fact, I just took my company public. I mean who woulda thought I'd be a millionaire?" Neal shakes his head and sits back down. 

Killian's ears perk up at Neal's last statement. 

~

Mary ties the ribbon on Regina's next dress with a beaming smile. 

"I just knew you two would hit it off, Regina!" 

"Really? Why?" She asks genuinely curious in her friends matchmaking. 

Jefferson adjusts the front of the dress and smiles. 

"Because I know you and I know how important loyalty is to you. David told me out of all his friends Killian is the one guy he can always count on." Mary explains. 

"How is he with his mother? I mean that says a lot about a man." Jefferson asks. 

"His mother passed away when he was young." Regina states sadly. "But he's great with my mother which is shocking." 

"He gets along with Cora?" 

"Strangely, yes." Regina answers. 

"Well he must really love you." 

"Forget about your parents how is he in the bedroom?" Mary asks with a funny eyebrow wiggle. 

"Oh my god." Regina laughs fixing her hair. 

"Yeah, Mary that's so rude. But can we talk about him?" Jefferson asks. 

"Seriously he has muscles I didn't know existed." 

Regina thought she wouldn't mind do anything physical with Killian. He was certainly good looking and with the amount of time he spent working out in their apartment she knew he was fit. 

"Oh my god she's blushing!" Mary squeals.  

Regina looks down and acts as though she's adjusting the dress again with a shade of pink on her cheeks. 

"I am not." 

"I don't think I've ever seen you blush before!" 

Regina shakes her head and returns to fixing the dress. 

~

When the meeting is over Killian quickly gets up and heads towards Neal offering his hand. 

"Neal, nice to meet you. I spoke a little earlier."

"Yeah I remember." Neal says. 

"Listen, your story truly saved me tonight." Killian explains. "And I was just wondering if..."

"If I'd be your sponsor? sure." 

"No I was wondering if you'd come to my wedding." 

"But we just met?" Neal saga skeptically. 

Killian nods. 

"I know. It's just... you've been such a wealth of inspiration to me, Neal. If you write down your name and address I'd love to send you an invite." 

"Sure." Neal answers reaching for a pen in his pocket. 

Killian stops him handing him a pen and then a scrap of paper. 

"That's great. Thank you I'll see you soon." 

Neal walks away and leaves Killian with his address. 

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help over hearing you're not really getting married are you?" A feminine voice asks. 

Killian turns around the see the same dark haired woman that had been checking him out through the entire meeting. 

"Yeah why do you ask?" He looks her up and down once again. 

"It's just that you don't seem like the marrying type is all." 

"Why does everyone keep saying that? I guess I am the type because yes I am getting married." He sighs. 

"Well that's too bad." She says as she begins to walk away. 

Killian looks at the ground for a moment then shrugs. 

"But not for several weeks." 

The woman looks at him as if she knew he'd give in. 

"Why don't you buy a girl a drink." She says before heading to the door. 

Killian runs his hand through his hair. 

"Maybe just one." 

~

Regina has been twirling and showing off different dresses for hours now. She tries on one more dress that's a sleeveless classy design and walks out of the changing room. Mary and Jefferson's jaws nearly hit the floor when she looks up. 

"Is it that bad?" She asks exhausted. 

"You look amazing."

"Where was that one when I was looking?" Mary asks.

Regina smiles at the two and checks the dress again in the mirror once more knowing she found the perfect fit. 

~

"She's something else that's for sure. She does not make it easy." Killian says as he and the woman, who he found out is named Milah, from the meeting walk down the street after a few drinks. 

"Well relationships never are easy." 

"There is something sort of cool about her though." He says with a smile. "something that, I don't know, sneaks up on you."

The two walk into an apartment building and Killian sighs. 

"Well, this is my stop." Milah says gesturing to the elevator. 

"Be careful getting off." Killian jokes. 

"That'll be up to you." She says sweetly. 

He eyes her curiously as she steps forward. Before he knows what's happening she has her lips pressed against his in a soft kiss. she pulls away and goes to the elevator doors as he stands there totally frozen watching her. 

"Well mister gambling man, how much are you willing to risk?"


	9. Chapter 9

When Regina returns home from work the next evening the apartment smells amazing. 

"Hey there, bridezilla." Killian jokes from the kitchen. 

"What's that amazing smell?" 

"I made a lasagna to celebrate." 

"Celebrate?" 

"Yeah. We got out first official wedding gifts today. You are now the proud of a cupcake carrier." He says gesturing to the container on the counter. "and a check for $100." 

"Awesome." 

"Oh Im sorry about last night." He says putting the dish on the counter. 

"Last night?" She asks uninterested. 

"Yeah I should've called or something to let you know I wasn't gonna be back." 

"Oh did you not come back?" She asks sounding bored while looking through her mail. "I didn't notice."

Killian looks almost a little hurt at her statement. 

"I mean we're just fake fiancés, remember? It's not like we're really in love." She laughs. 

"I got it." Killian says with a nod. 

Regina grabs her phone and moves to sit at the table. 

"You know at some point we're going to have to talk about our vows." She says scrolling through her phone. 

"Don't we just repeat what the reverend says?" 

"Ugh church vows are so cold and impersonal." She explains. 

"Yeah I'd hate for our fake vows at our fake wedding to not be from the heart." He jokes. 

"Look all of my family and friends are going to be there. I'd like them to sound at least a little real." She shrugs with a pen in hand. 

"Can't I just read a poem or something?" He asks setting her plate down before taking a seat. 

"You know what I'll write your vows for you okay? You don't have to worry about it." 

"What about your vows?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well you get to write exactly what you want me to say what about what you're gonna say to me?" 

"Oh I thought I'd just read a poem or something." She replies sarcastically.

"What? I don't think so you know what I'm gonna write YOUR vows." He says before digging into his slice of food. 

Killian grabs a piece of paper from the center of the table. 

"Do you have a pen, love?" He asks. 

"What's that?" Regina asks sarcastically gesturing to the pen that's sitting right next to his plate. 

Killian picks up the pen and clicks it a few times near her ear just to annoy her. 

"It's a pen." He states. 

Regina shakes her head at his childish behavior and continues to write killian's vows. Killian looks around the room twirling the pen in his hand. How hard could writing fake vows be? After all there are no feelings involved. How the hell was regina writing so much? 

"What do you have so far?" Killian asks. 

"Regina, I didn't know how loving a person could be until I met you." She reads aloud. 

Killian let's out a laugh. 

"What?" Regina genuinely asks. 

"I'm going to sound like such a loser." He continues to laugh. 

"You are a loser." 

"I don't think I can read that with a straight face." 

"I don't even know if you can read period." Regina quips with a tight smile. 

"You know what? Enjoy the food because I just lost my appetite." He says pushing his plate away. 

"Oh maybe you left it where you were last night." She shrugs. 

"Oh so now I'm supposed to check in with my fake fiancé?" 

"No because that would be considerate. Something you know nothing about." She spits out. 

"For your information I walked a friend home after my meeting then I slept at Liam's because I was closer to his place." 

Regina eyes him skeptically but is interrupted when her phone rings. 

"Hello? Oh my god which hospital? I'll be right there." Regina speaks into the phone. 

"What happened?" Killian asks getting up. 

Regina quickly gets up grabbing her keys and purse. 

"My sisters in the hospital. She was in a car accident." She explains panicked. 

Killian follows her quickly out the door. 

~

Killian and Regina rush through the hospital doors but before they can get to the desk the sound of two little voices yelling "Aunt Gina!" Can be heard from the lobby. 

"Hey you two." Regina says pulling her niece and nephew into a hug. "Where are grandma and grandpa?" 

"They won't let us see mommy." 

"They didn't want Robyn to get scared so I have to stay with her." Her young nephew Henry explains. 

"Okay. Will you two be alright out here?" Regina asks. 

"Yep. I'm in charge." Henry explains. 

"I'll be right back okay?" 

Regina heads to the hospital doors with Killian following right behind her giving the young kids a little wave. 

"Who's he?" Robyn asks her older brother. 

"Some guy." 

~

Regina stands in the hallway looking through the glass window that shows the inside of her sisters hospital room. She can see a person with bandages on their head completely covering them and their arm in a cast. 

Killian stays behind her in the hallway while Regina enters the room. She walks to the side of the bed of the patient and holds back tears. 

"Is that my little sister crying over a stranger." An accented voice booms. 

Regina whips around to see her sister Zelena and her parents across the room slightly hidden by a curtain. 

"God, Z mom said you got hit by a truck!" She says moving to her sister. 

"Mom!" 

"Those weren't my exact words!" Cora defends. 

"I was cleaning up some of the kids toys and I slipped on one of Henry's toy trucks." Zelena explains. 

"Thank god you're okay." 

"Regina isn't there something you've been meaning to ask your sister?" Henry pushes. 

Regina laughs. 

"Zelena, would you like to be my maid of honor?" 

"Of course I would!" Zelena belts out putting her un injured arm around her little sister. 

~

Killian and the kids stand bent over with their hands on their knees across from each other in the lobby hospital. 

"I hope you two aren't used to the adults letting you win games all the time. It's not gonna be that way tonight. No no, this game is on. On like a night light. Let's go!" 

The kids and Killian run to the center of the floor where a crushed pop can sits as a makeshift hockey puck. Henry comes up first trying to kick the Can but Killian is quick on his feet and picks him up easily spinning him before he kicks the Can away from Robyn scoring a goal. 

"Woohoo!" Killian cheers dropping Henry onto the chair. 

He picks up Robyn next and spins her around before placing her on another chair. Both kids are laughing hysterically as they run and tackle him to the ground both landing on his back. 

When the two are piled onto killian's back Henry, cora, and Regina step back into the lobby. The three both grin and Regina can't help but feel a warm feeling spread through her chest at the scene before her. 

Killian does a push up with the two still tightly clinging to his back. 

"Okay visiting hours are over and your dad is going to stay here tonight so you two get to come home with grandma and grandpa!" Henry says excitedly. 

"Unless you guys wanna come back with us." Killian says out of breath. 

"Yeah!" The kids yell excitedly jumping off. 

"That's what I thought." Killian laughs still out of breath. 

He stands up to face a beaming Regina and takes a deep breath before mouthing "my back!" 

~

 

Regina runs her hand through a sleeping Henry's hair as she covers his tiny frame on the recliner before doing the same to Robyn. Killian stand with his hands in his pockets and follows Regina to the bedroom. 

"So I guess I'll just sleep in here tonight? He asks looking around the room. 

Regina pokes her head out of the en suite bathroom. 

"Hey Killian hows your stamina?" 

Killian smirks. 

"I've never received any complaints." 

"And how's your lung capacity?" She asks sweetly. 

"Fantastic" he responds quietly while sitting on the end of the bed. 

"Great! You'll have no problem blowing up your bed." 

Regina steps out of the bathroom and unfolds a small air mattress. Killian's smile falls and he sighs at the pile of plastic on the floor. 

~

"You haven't complained once about that thing. It's like you're a real adult. Regina says from her spot on the bed. 

Killian is laying on his back with an arm behind his head. 

"That's the worst thing anybody's ever said to me." He jokes. 

Regina turns to her side and pulls the sheet up over her bare shoulder. 

"Goodnight, Killian." 

"Goodnight, love." 

Regina lays still in the bed for several minutes wondering if she should allow him to sleep next to her. As fate would have it, she hears a pop and Killian sigh. 

"I think you sprung a leak." She says over her shoulder. 

"It's a slow leak. It'll be fine." 

Regina can see him struggling to become comfortable on the deflating mattress. 

"I suppose you could sleep up here tonight." She offers. 

"Wouldn't that be weird?" He asks. 

"No. Just stay above the covers." 

She adjusts her position again as Killian gets up and claims the empty side of the mattress. The two adjust again to where they are both on their back. 

A few minutes pass as hands slowly inch towards each other in the small space between them. Killian runs his finger over her knuckles. A beat passes and suddenly killian is on top of Regina while she has her arms tightly around his neck. 

The two waste no time as plump lips meet thin ones in a desperate kiss. Killian's tongue traces Regina's bottom lip and she grants him an opening as she lets out a light moan. Killian's hands move up her sides almost cupping a breast before Regina pushes his shoulders. 

"Wait what are we doing?" She asks slightly panicked. 

"You mean you've never done this before?" He jokes. 

"Shut up." Regina laughs pulling him back down into another kiss. 

He slides up her tank top the slightest bit before the bedroom door handle starts to move. 

Regina is quick to push him off and he lands on his back with an arm casually behind his head. 

"Who is it?" She calls out. 

The door opens and a little Robyn appears in the dark holding her stomach. 

"I don't feel so good." 

Regina flicks on the bedside lamp and gets up. 

"What's the matter, little one?" Killian asks. 

Robyn walks further into the room and stands right in front of Killian. 

"I have a tummy ache." She explains just before she hunches over and empties her stomach. 

Killian stiffens and moves his puke covered foot. 

"You feel better now?" Regina asks softly. 

Robyn nods as Regina lifts her up and carries her to the bathroom. 

~  
A while later as Robyn is cuddled into Regina's side, Henry wakes up on the chair and sees Killian on the couch. 

"Uncle Killian" He whispers leaning over the arm of the chair. 

"Uncle Killian" 

Killian jolts awake and looks over at Henry. 

"Yeah, lad?" 

"Where's Robyn?" 

"She's with your Aunt Regina. She's not feeling too well. It's been a very interesting night to say the least." 

"What happened?" The curious ten year old asks. 

"One day I will tell you all about it, alright? Maybe when you're in college." 

"I'm not going to college. Neither is Robyn." Henry says. 

"Why not?" 

"I heard grandma say they're gonna use our college fund to pay for your wedding." 

Killian's brows knit together. 

"They said that?" 

Henry nods. 

"Goodnight." He says turning over in his chair again. 

Killian sighs. He has to do something to get money for this wedding.


	10. Chapter 10

Killian stands up against the brick building with his hands in his pockets. It's the middle of the afternoon but he spots his fathers car in the bars parking lot.

He taps his foot impatiently then stands up straight as he sees his father coming out of the door. Brennan Jones has shaggy hair and is sporting a short beard. Killian isn't shocked at his disheveled appearance. 

Brennan walks right past him and continues to his car. 

"Hey, dad." He calls walking after him. 

Brennan turns around and eyes his youngest son. 

"Killian? How'd you know where to find me?" He asks. 

"This is where Liam always came to pick you up." Killian says. "Usually with me in the back seat." 

"And you remember that?" 

"There's not much else to remember, dad." Killian shrugs. 

"Well it's good to see you. Can I buy you a beer? We can go to the track and place a few bets." Brennan suggests. 

"No I just came here to take care of business." 

"Oh come on stick around for a while. There's a great race happening this afternoon."

Killian shakes his head. 

"I've given it up. It's a nasty habit. I'm really breaking the cycle I think." 

"So you're just here for the money." Brennan asks. 

"I don't know what I'm here for. Maybe this was a mistake." Killian says through a clenched jaw before turning around. 

"Killian look, I know that life was tough for you and I'm sorry about that." Brennan says sincerely. "I realize I'm never going to be father of the year." 

"I would've settled for just a father." 

Brennan sighs and puts his hand on killian's shoulder. 

"I hit it pretty big at the track last year. It's the big payout you always looking for.l but after the excitement wore off I realized I have no one to celebrate with." Brennan explains. 

"I guess that's what happens when your home is a dive bar and a racetrack, dad." 

"I'm trying to make amends, son. I'd like a second chance that I know I don't deserve." 

"You don't." Killian states shaking his head. 

"Alright. Alright." Brennan reaches into his pocket pulling a folded check out of his wallet and holds it out to Killian. 

"I'm proud of you, Killian. Falling in love, getting married, creating a family, hell I envy you. I lost the love of my life and gambled you away. That is my biggest regret." 

Killian stands quietly, his hands balled into fists looking down. 

"I'll find another way to get the money." He says before trying to leave again. 

"Killian please. Please let me do this much." 

Killian takes the check and looks at it for a moment before making eye contact with his father. 

"The weddings next Saturday at four pm. I'll have Liam give you all the details." 

With that he puts the check in his pocket and walks away. 

~

"Say goodbye to your Aunt Gina and tell her thank you." Zelena tells her children just outside the apartment building. 

Robyn wraps her arms around Regina's waist in a tight hug as Killian runs down the sidewalk. 

"But where's Uncle Killian?" Henry asks. 

"Right here, lad." Killian laughs when he picks the boy up. 

Killian hands Regina the check from his pocket. 

"From my father." 

Regina looks at Killian with soft eyes. 

"Are you okay?" 

Killian nods. 

"I will be." 

He puts Henry down and messes up his hair. 

"Sorry, lad looks like you'll be going to college after all." 

Henry sighs dramatically as Zelena gets the two in the car. 

"I'm gonna miss him." Robyn says. 

"Don't worry he's not going anywhere." 

At Zelena's words Killian and Regina look at each other before waving at the kids in the back of the car. 

~

"You know the little ones have been gone for only a few hours and I miss them already." Killian says as he tries to patch the hole in his air mattress. 

"I know." Regina agrees quietly. "Listen about what happened last night..." 

"Or what didn't happen." Killian interrupts. 

"It's probably for the best. I mean things could get complicated." 

Killian just blinks at her.

"Okay. I'm a simple guy." 

Regina just looks at him sadly. 

"C'mon there was a softy come back in there somewhere." He jokes. 

Regina looks at him like she wants to take back what she said and just push those nagging feelings away. 

"Goodnight, Killian." She says climbing into the bed. 

Killian stands there for a moment then walks out of the room. 

"See you at the rehearsal dinner." 

~

Laughter fills the fancy restaurant as the wedding party occupies their own corner of the establishment. The restaurant is in a tall building downtown and from the balcony outside it is easy to see the view of the city. 

Reverend Hopper is in attendance as is Mary, David, Regina's parents, sister, brother in law, and Liam.

The laughter quiets down as Zelena stands and taps her glass to make a toast. 

"My parents and I couldn't be happier to have you all here to celebrate Regina and Killian's big day tomorrow. It's probably safe to say many of us thought Regina would never get married." Zelena laughs. 

Cora shoots her a look that causes Zelena to lift her hands in mock surrender. 

"But she has found this wonderful man who is so funny, giving, and warm. And he obviously adores her." 

Killian smiles as Henry pats his back. 

"I've seen the way Killian looks at Regina when she's not looking." Zelena begins to tear up. " I look forward to tomorrow seeing my beautiful little sister as happy as I was on my wedding day." 

Regina shifts in her chair and looks down at the table. The guilt has become to much and suddenly she bolts from the table causing everyone in attendance to worry. 

Killian excuses himself from the table and goes out the doors that lead to the balcony. 

 

Regina stands on the balcony trying to catch her breath as crystalline tears roll down her cheek. This is all just too much. 

She takes a deep breath again closing her eyes. 

Killian comes up behind her taking his jacket off and putting it over her bare shoulders. 

"Hey." He says softly not to startle her. 

"I can't go through with it. I can't deceive my family and friends. I'm sorry." 

"We have to." 

"I'm calling it off." 

"No you're not." He whispers putting his hand on the small of her back. 

The pair hasn't noticed Cora, Zelena, and Mary at the glass door arms linked together watching the couple. 

"You can't do this to me Regina. I could've taken that money from my father and paid off the Crocodile but I didn't do it." 

"Why didn't you?" She asks. 

Killian takes a moment and just shrugs. 

"I don't know, love I... because I just didn't." 

Regina wipes her eyes looking away embarrassed. 

"I can't stand up there tomorrow and marry a man that doesn't love me." 

"Now you tell me." Killian chuckles. 

"I'm sorry. You'll just have to pay off your debt some other way." 

"If I could've thought of another way do you think I would've gone through with this?" He asks. 

"Oh I'm sorry it's been so terrible." She snaps. 

"Go back in there, Regina. Go back in there in front of all your family and friends to tell your parents that all this money they've spent was for nothing." 

Regina bites her lip. 

"Can you do that?" He asks. 

Regina stays quiet. 

"That's what I thought. The wedding is happening." He says taking her hand. " unless you want the crocodile to kill me so you can keep my television." 

Regina laughs and pulls him along back to the doors. The three women that were watching the scene break away and go back to the large table. 

"After the wedding I never wanna see you again. Thank god I didn't sleep with you." She says through a tightly clenched smile knowing they're being watched. 

"Oh you would've loved it." 

"Yeah not as much as you would have." 

"Uh huh." 

~

The church bells ring as guests pile into the building on a beautiful October day. 

"Bloody hell how do I tie this thing?" Killian asks fighting with his tie. David sits on the chair in the room set up for before the ceremony. 

He stands almost completely dressed in front of the mirror. He's clean shaven now, remembering Regina's comment about his facial hair when they met. 

"Why didn't you just get the clip on?" 

"Oh maybe because I'm getting married?" He shrugs. 

There's a knock at the door before Zelena walks in. 

"Everyone decent?"

"Yeah." 

"Wow Killian you look dashing." Zelena compliments. 

"Thank you. Is Regina okay? She's still gonna go through with it?" He asks speaking a mile a minute. 

"Of course she is." Zelena laughs. " she told me to give you this and you should have something for her." She says giving him the envelope that contains their vows. 

Killian nods and move to the table picking up a pen and writing something down quickly. 

"It's so sweet exchanging love letters right before the ceremony." Zelena gushes. 

Killian hands her the envelope and she pulls him into a hug. 

"We're almost ready to go so I suggest you tie that." 

Zelena is out of the room and Killian begins to struggle with his tie again. 

"Think of it as a shoe." David suggest. 

Killian rolls his eyes before tying it's like a shoe lace with a huff. 

~

The church is filled and Killian stand at the alter nervously with his brother behind him. Killian stands up straighter when the doors open and the music starts to play. Cora is escorted down the isle by Zelena's a husband chad followed by Brennan. 

Regina's friend Jefferson begins to walk But is pulled back by Graham and Will allowing the crocodile to walk down with his two men. Killian shakes his head at the ridiculousness of it all. 

Mary and David walk out followed by Zelena who is escorted by Henry then Robyn who is their flower girl. 

The music gets a little louder and Killian takes a deep breath. 

In the back of the church Regina is trying to talk herself out of a panic attack. She takes a deep breath. 

"Wait close the doors." 

She turns around and sees her father waiting. 

"Sweetheart, its time." 

"I don't think I can do this." She admits. 

"Of course you can." 

"No, daddy. Killian and I..." 

"Regina, listen to me." Henry interrupts. " the reason your mother and I never thought you'd get married was because we thought you would never meet anybody worthy of all you had to offer. I'm so proud of the woman you've become and I'm so sorry I haven't always told you that. 

Regina tears up at her fathers words and hugs him tightly. 

"I know you're scared and as hard as it is for me to give you away I know you'll be in good hands. Killian loves you." He assures her. 

Regina steps out of her fathers arms and wipes her eyes making sure her make up didn't run. 

"Okay?" Henry asks offering her his arm. 

Regina takes a deep breath and loops her arm with her fathers as the two go towards the door. 

The music begins to play again as the doors open and Henry beams at his daughter. 

"Wow" Liam whispers to Killian. 

"I know." 

Regina smiles at all the guest and when they get to the alter Henry places her hand in killian's before smacking his back a little harder than usual. 

Everyone laughs and the ceremony gets started. 

Reverend Hopper begins to speak and killian runs his thumb along the back of Regina's hand. 

"Family, friends, we are here today to celebrate these two people. I have had the the chance to spend some time with Killian and Regina and their unusually strong feelings for one another are apparent." 

Killian and Regina look at him nervously hoping he doesn't mention too much about the meeting they all had over a month ago. 

"I've had this job long enough to know when two people are getting married for the wrong reasons." Hopper's voice echos in the church. "Some people are in love with an idealized version of the person they are marrying, and some, well some just want all the gifts." He jokes. 

Everyone laughs as do Killian and Regina as if that wasn't their plan all along. 

"But what they don't realize is marriage is an exciting, and sometimes hard journey. But Killian and Regina, they see each other for who they really are."

Killian smiles at Regina and squeezes her hand. 

"These two are here today knowing full well what they are getting into." 

At the reverends words Regina swallows hard and looks like she's ready to flee the church. 

"Killian and Regina have decided to read their own vows." 

Killian looks to the reverend then let's go of Regina's  hand going for the papers in his pocket. 

He clears his throat and begins to read. 

"Regina, I didn't know how loving a person could be until I met you." 

Regina smiles and looks proud and the words she's written for him. 

Killian stops and studies the paper before he puts it back in his suit pocket. 

"You know I can't do this." 

Regina looks as if she's seen a ghost when every guest gasps. 

"I have to speak from the heart here." He says resting his hand on his chest. 

Regina's eyes go wide as she shakes her head no. 

"Regina, you are the most frustrating person I've ever met. You are stubborn and opinionated and at times really, really bossy. And that is why I've fallen in love with you."

Regina's brows knit together, she's as confused as everyone else. 

"I didn't plan on it. Believe me, it just happened. Along the way I noticed your generosity, your kindness, your great sense of humor, your love for your niece and nephew, and just your basic sense of decency. You're an amazing woman, Regina and I would be honored to call you my wife." 

Cora smiles putting her head on her husbands shoulder while in the pew behind them the crocodile nods his head.

Regina bites her lip as tears threaten to fall for the third time in twenty four hours. 

"Regina, you can recite your vows now." Hopper says. 

Regina looks at Killian like she doesn't know how to move. 

"Go on read your vows." He urges. 

Regina opens the envelope given to her by Mary to see blue ink that reads "Will you marry me for real?" 

Killian gets down on his knee and pulls out a beautiful gold band with a ruby in the center. 

"We haven't gotten to the rings yet." Hopper chimes in. 

The pair ignore him. 

"It was my mother's." He tells her. 

Regina sighs. 

"You know, Killian I pride myself on being able to read people. And when I met you I thought you were sloppy, and lazy, and a ladies man." 

Killian looks nervous when he lowers his arm that holds the ring. 

"In fact that was all I could see. But everyday that I've spent with you I found little things I love about you. Like the way you light up when your brother is around, or the way you make my niece and nephew laugh. And ever since then I just love all those little things about you. I love you, Killian." 

Killian stands up and looks at the ring in his hand. 

"Is that a yes?" He whispers. 

"Yes." Regina laughs. 

Killian puts the ring on her finger before he wraps her arms around her waist. She cups his face and smiles into their kiss. 

"Uh we haven't gotten to that part yet." Hopper laughs. 

"Uh Killian do you take Regina to be your wife?" 

Killian sticks his hand in the air in a thumbs up not bothering to break their kiss.

"Regina do you take Killian to be your husband?" 

Regina's hand flies into the air in a shooing manner indicating a yes. 

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you two can continue to do that." 

The guest abrupt into laughter and applause. Regina breaks their kiss and rests her forehead against killian's. 

"We did it!" He tells her. 

The two go down the isle hand in hand as husband and wife. 

~

The reception is held in a beautiful garden at the country club. Killian and Regina walk around mingling with their guests before they see the crocodile and his men. 

"Touching ceremony." The crocodile compliments. 

"Thank you." Killian says. 

"Mister Crocodile, we're going to pay you back. If you want a down payment you can just take a gift off the table." Regina suggests. 

I like your style. Killian, you did well." 

"I know." He smiles. 

"Which is why I'm forgiving your debt." 

"Really?" The two belt out. 

"No, but I will knock off seventy five bucks so you can get yourself a blender." 

Regina squeezes killian's hand and smiles. 

"To the happy couple, salute!" The crocodile toasts into the party. 

"Salute!" 

~

Everyone takes advantage of the dance floor. Cora and Henry are dancing sweetly while Regina and Killian have hardly been apart all night. As the sun sets the garden is lit by fairy lights giving the party a warm glow. 

The kids all play with sparklers as the adults enjoy the champagne. 

Regina's arms are around killian's neck as they slow dance. 

"We're married. We're really married." She beams. 

"I know. We're so lucky." 

"I still feel kind of bad for lying. Should we tell them?" 

"Now? Are you kidding? After your Aunt just bought you that coffee maker you wanted?" He jokes. He pulls her in closer and kisses her forehead. 

"It was a lie that came true. I love you, Regina. We don't need to tell anyone anything." 

Killian spins her and when she comes back to him she cups his face and pulls him into a soft kiss.


End file.
